The 18 Happiest Feelings on the Face of the Earth

What are the best feelings in the world? We have a list here:

  1. Releasing your breasts from the constraints of your bra for the first time. That Carrie didn’t hurl her bra into a corner and touch her breasts for five minutes every time she came home is the single most incorrect aspect of Sex and the City.
  1. It’s always nice to get into a freshly made bed. This is most certainly a thrill that Millennials will never comprehend since Millennials despise making beds, but you know how much you like those pristine, chilly hotel linens.
  1. Muscle-building exercises. It is impossible for me to connect with you if you do not like doing downward dogs after a hard day spent at a computer.
  1. Snuggling with a cuddly animal. The truth is that, although I like cats, they aren’t necessarily my favourite animal. When there were kittens at the office, my heart began pounding and I thought I would weep. This was the first time this happened to me. Don’t tell anybody about it.
  1. At the end of the day, washing your face is a must. You assume that all of the makeup and other nonsense on your face represents worry, and then you scrub it off. There! You are now a helpless newborn baby with no concern in the world.
  1. At the conclusion of the day, remove slim jeans or a pencil skirt. Putting on a pair of stretch leggings and a large T-shirt is a good idea. Preferably without any kind of undergarment.
  1. When someone else’s hair is messed up in your direction. Sorry, wash man at my hair salon, but I’m almost orgasming on your chair right now. Continue on your way.
  1. Having finished a strenuous exercise. When you’re truly spinning, you’re thinking to yourself, “Fuck spinning.” However, staggering out of a spinning class like Woody from Toy Story, getting a shower, and fainting on the sofa is also a fairly pleasant experience.
  1. Peeing after you’ve been holding it for, say, nine years is embarrassing. This is something that everyone who has ever been in a vehicle has experienced.
  1. While on vacation, you should squish sand between your toes. Half-pedicure, half-reminder that you do not need to check your email throughout the day.
  1. Allowing your hair to naturally fall while the blood rushes back to your brain, you’re cursing each and every bobby pin and hair tie that comes out of your ears.
  1. Tossing your pillow about in the middle of the night when it’s hot. The air is suffocatingly cold at that place!
  1. Staying in bed till you are unable to sleep any longer. Afterwards, you get up and stretch, your eyes widening with youthful delight as if you were seeing your bedroom for the first time. At ten in the morning, the light filtering gently through your drapes warms the floor under your feet. Everything is perfect right now.
  1. Skinny dipping (also known as “skinny dipping”). There’s simply something about floating in warm water while completely nude in the dark that appeals to me… What exactly is it? Is it similar to being in the womb again? That’s disgusting, so forget about it.
  1. Use those strange spidery head massagers that you can get at the mall. *Shivers*, *smiles*, and more.
  1. I woke up hot and weary after falling asleep on the beach, yet feeling completely at ease with myself. So call me Deepak Chopra because I’m kind of like… whatever Deepak Chopra happens to be.
  1. The act of wrapping oneself up in blankets when it is chilly (or the A.C. is blasting). Just being surrounded by warmth is a wonderful feeling. Oh, you’re bringing up the womb again? Hello, Mom! Mom, I adore you. The womb is fantastic.
  1. The last idea of “best feelings in the world” is that when you receive a manicure, you get a mini-massage on your hands. This is even better using a dildo. Accept my apologies as I shut my eyes and take a deep breath through my thumb knot. Yes, I’m willing to pay an additional $10 for an additional ten minutes. Here’s a picture of my credit card. You may charge me whatever amount you want; I won’t check.
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Daniel Robbins
Daniel Robbins is a nationally certified personal trainer and copywriter who works independently in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. His specialities include business, exercise science, and health promotion.
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